Three questions to change your life. Part three.

OK, so you figured out what you really wanted, in clear and specific terms. Then, we talked about what you are willing to do, what commitments and sacrifices you were willing to make, to earn what you wanted.

And now, it’s time to figure out the final piece. So today, I ask you this: What are you allowing to stand in your way?

Notice that I didn’t say, “What is standing in your way?” I asked what you are allowing to come between you and your goal, because, as we talked about yesterday, if you want it bad enough, there’s nothing you won’t do to achieve it.

Allowing obstacles and challenges to stop you is a choice, and it’s one I hope you won’t make. Because you’re way too awesome for that.

So let’s start with one of, if not THE, most common obstacle out there: fear. It is a huge mental challenge, and it sucks. Believe me, I have been there, and I am still there every day.

Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of looking like a jackass, fear of getting hurt, fear of the unknown, fear of hard work, fear of being uncomfortable…I feel all of these things, pretty much on a daily basis. But, I decided several months ago to tell fear to suck it.

It’s not an easy thing to do, peeps. But if I can do it, really, anyone can. I know that sounds like some lameass platitude, but it is absolutely, 100% true. Look at how far I’ve come:

box jump

Yep, that’s me. Making that box my bitch, which represents the overcoming of a HUGE obstacle for me.

As obstacles go, fear is probably the hardest to get past, because it’s all up there in your head. In fact, I might argue that all our mental obstacles stem from fear.

What are we all so effing afraid of, anyway? THAT’S the question. Maybe our greatest fear should be not achieving all that we are capable of, and not fully living as a result. (But maybe that’s too deep for a Monday.)

The bottom line here is this: if you are letting your fear stand in the way, you are your own obstacle. obstacles

I just can’t let you do that. So stop making excuses and letting your fear dictate who you’re going to be. Screw fear! Decide, and do. You can acknowledge your fear, but don’t let it run your life! Fear doesn’t get to make the decisions! That’s bullshit. YOU are in charge of your choices. Fear can be present, but it can’t stand in your way unless you let it. Are you? Be honest.

Do any of these apply to you?

1. “I can’t because I might fall when I try to jump over the box.” (fear of failure, getting hurt, looking like a jackass)

2. “I can’t because I’ve never done it before and don’t think I’ll be able to.” (fear of failure, getting hurt, the unknown)

3. “I can’t because it’s too hard.” (fear of failure, getting hurt, hard work, discomfort)

4. “I can’t because I’m too tired/too busy/too whatever.” (fear of failure, the unknown, hard work, discomfort)

If so, you are standing in your own way. And, as your friend and a big fan of YOU, I’m telling you to cut that crap out. Stop thinking so much. Every second you pause before doing something that’s hard or scary gives your brain more time to make excuses and create obstacles.

Repeat after me: I am scared shitless. But I am doing this anyway.

But Steph, what about “real” obstacles?

Yeah, yeah, I know. And don’t get me wrong here, I know that fear is a very REAL obstacle. But sometimes there are obstacles outside of our heads that we have no control over, and you might be wondering how I propose you deal with those obstacles, especially the ones that seem insurmountable. We’re not talking about being afraid to jump over a wooden box, we’re talking about not being able to quit a job you hate because you need the money. We’re talking about running in the Olympics with no legs.

Oscar Pistorious

Oh, look. Oscar Pistorious actually did that. What’s your obstacle, again?

Do we think that Oscar woke up one day and said, “I think I’ll be in the Olympics today?’ and then just was? Obviously not. Hard work. Training. Commitment. Dedication. I am hard pressed to think of an obstacle to getting fit that can’t be crushed with all of these things.

The same goes for other types of obstacles. The job scenario? OK, so you can’t leave your miserable job yet. Decide what you want to do, and work toward it. You’ll have to endure your crappy job for awhile, but you have to resolve within yourself that the paycheck makes it worthwhile, for the moment. In the meantime, work your ass off to get yourself to a place where you CAN get the job you will love.

Obstacles are choices, people. They present opportunities for us to change and grow, if we let them.

So I guess my closing question is:

Do you want to change your life, or do you want to stay the same? It’s all within your power. Crush your obstacles, no matter how long it takes, and live the life you deserve. I believe in you.

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