Here’s a secret: I’m terrified of mold. Isn’t that absurd? Me, the girl who bravely faced down a most disgusting shower drain full of mold-covered long girly hair while my college housemates stood a safe distance back, gagging. I pulled that nasty crap out of the drain and was the hero of my house! We didn’t have to shower in ankle deep water anymore! I’m not sure when things changed, but I seriously cannot approach anything that I even think might have mold on it. (That’s what I have a husband for, after all.)
But, this post isn’t about mold. It’s about shit that terrifies me. Here’s something that makes me shake in my boots:
Yes, I am afraid of the step. We use them for box jumps, and up and overs, and a bunch of other crazy stuff and I am always shaking in my boots, expecting to go crashing off the side of the step and land on the floor in a big fat heap. Back in the day, I did just such a thing at a step aerobics class. And apparently, I’ve never quite gotten over it.
Here’s the deal, though, peeps: I refuse to let my fear get in my way. Do I let it make me feel like I might vomit? Yes. Do I let it push my heart rate to an even more accelerated level than it would have been from the actual exercise? Absolutely. Do I let the fear make me tinkle just a little bit? Sometimes. (Listen, this stuff happens after you’ve had a few kids. Get over it.)
But I refuse to let the fear stop me anymore. Ever.
Shall I list some more workout related things I am afraid of? Well, since you asked so nicely, I’ll be happy to:
- Pull ups
- Mountain climbers
- Mountain climbers on disks
- Mountain climbers on the TRX (are you noticing a pattern here?)
- Sumo deadlifts
- Ladders, most especially the ascending kind
- Stair sprints
This could go on for awhile, but I feel as though I’ve made my point aplenty. Basically, there is something in every workout that makes me want to barf just thinking about it. Why do these things make me so skerred? Really, it’s about the potential to fail. The potential to look like an idiot. The potential to make a fool of myself in front of a bunch of other people. Obviously, these are the exercises that are the hardest for me, and so I am afraid to look ridiculous trying to do them.
I do them anyway.
Christa is always telling us that change only happens outside of your comfort zone. Were truer words ever spoken? I had gotten waaaaaay to comfortable with my life before, and I was afraid of EVERYTHING. Of people, of social situations, of exercise, of putting myself out there. You name it, I feared it. It was crippling me in every aspect of my life. My comfort zone was pretty much my house, and it was lonely and sad. Professionally, I was settling.
Since I’ve decided to acknowledge my fear, shake its hand and bid it good morning, and then proceed to steamroll right through it, I’ve done things I’m so proud of, that I never thought I could accomplish. I’ve lifted heavier weights than I thought possible, and pushed through intervals that I thought I could never finish without catching my breath.
In my work life, I walked away from a paying job when we really couldn’t afford for me to because it wasn’t for me. It sucked, actually. Guess what? When I refused to settle, I ultimately found something perfect for me, making way more money.
In my personal life, I have sought out friends and developed an amazing support system of awesome women that I love. My marriage is better than it’s ever been, and I’ve faced penis and vagina and sex talks with my kids head on without batting an eyelash.
Am I still afraid? Hell, yes. I wouldn’t be human if I weren’t afraid of stuff. But I’m not letting the fear stop me…EVER AGAIN.